The only constant is change

Wow. What a month it's been. I realize that I need to be comfortable with change. If I hold onto things then I reach a static status that is an illusion and worse yet, it's deadening. "Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistant one" Einstein.
Life is in full flux and it's invigorating in a very exciting way. Mixing things up and reshuffling the deck. To get to the point, I've left my husband of 5 years. I walked through a tremendous amount of fear and heartache and followed some hope that beckoned me from the other side and find myself now in a little 1 bedroom apartment with my daughter, our dog and our 2 cats. Not the picture I had painted for myself as they say, but I realize that the picture I was living was not really of my own creation anyway. It was part me and the love and hope I had for a family, but also part society's image of me and what I should be. Now all bets are off and it's OK, I'm out of bounds and loving it. Though haunted by all the readings of my youth that involved independent women leading an independent life that lead them right to their own death, or worse, insanity. The Awakening, A Room of One's Own (at least V. Woolfe's real life ended this way), the Yellow Wallpaper are but a few. Wandering why I think I have the strength to have a go of it, hoping that times have changed, reeling in the responses I've had from different friends. Some have been divine it's true, mostly those who've been here. Other's treat me as though I have a contagious disease. But now I'm open to be with those outside the norm, the status quo and I'm loving the possibilities.
I'm asking myself daily, what do I want to pursue, what do I want to share with my daughter? Rather than, how do I hold us all together? No, we can fly apart, if that's what's most enticing and that's OK. Now, granted, life has gotten more and less complicated. The complication is in my need of money, to be in commerce with the world in a very urgent way. I'm a filmmaker by trade and I'm finding myself immersed in all kinds of crazy projects that had I not had to, I would not have taken. It's simpler because I need care only for myself and my daughter (and of course, the dog and two cats. Did I mention the walking sticks?) But it's basically live life my way as I feel fit, that kind of freedom that makes things oh so much simpler.

The Law of Least Effort

From Sharon: I am amazed by the simplicity and ease of integrating the 4th law of the universe into my life! The Law is that of Least Effort: "An integral being knows without knowing, sees without looking, accomplishes without doing." My daughter couldn't learn to swim last summer, this summer she's like a duck in the water... why did I try to force it??? It can be so easy when the time is right! No more forcing anything is my new motto!

It's funny & fun to feel the difference... it's profound!   Since I  started letting go of the things I struggle over about a week ago and just detached from that point of view that struggle is necessary to accomplish things in life, everything has not only been easier but also more funny to watch and less consuming.  This is a big "Aha!" moment for me.  I'm going to video tape my daughter swimming tonight to fully embrace this new way of being.

I'm also going to implement and focus on a different law of the universe each week to see how different things can feel if I just let go of all these attachments I have to my habitual way of seeing things.  

Let's see... next week, I'll try to put into practice Law #1, the Law of Pure Potentiality.